Pac-Man

Packing with 3 children on a Saturday is one thing, packing with a man........ well we all know how tedious this is. Smiling away to himself in the middle of the kitchen while I'm running around like a blue arsed fly,  he had a tube of old polly filler cut in half trying to mix it up, he has obviously chose the most important job of the day. Surrounded by chaos, a teething 15 month that old, I cleaned and packed while he filled holes in the walls and gravitated to his pc like a magnet,  throwing me his cheeky 'don't get shouty' smile, bloody sod!!!!! I suppose my sleep in until 10.30 let's him off. We were both trying to frantically sell all of the crap we hoarded, we are bad at hoarding, so we are selling and saving what we make for the new furniture for the house. 

Somehow, in the tiny cramped house, rain pouring and everything everywhere, we managed to keep us all alive, the children were fed but I felt awful that we chucked the boys upstairs for most of the day on their tabs, this never happens but after weeks of sunshine and adventures they didn't mind some tab time and a pyjama day. Poor little Rosie had a rough day teething, she is a funny little beauty though, had us in stitches. 

So my little Bobs was picked up after his day on the tab, off to father of the year, all be it he is better recently but I still hate sending him off to a place where they dont understand him like me, but at the end of the day he always comes home to his sanctuary with me and Dan. Cuddles with my pops always warm my heart though, she is just too adorable, I pinch myself often to check it is real. The little toes enjoyed his day, he came to tell me how much he loved me all day, and finally we are on the 4th day of no paddy's,  I think putting my foot down has worked. We took him home once his mum had finished work, stopped for the usual chit chat and off home we came, via the new house of course. 

All caught up on big brother (Yes! Yes I am one of those people who watch big brother and love it), quick blog and now watching 'I know what you did last summer' - Classic 👍 

💞Nighty Night💞

To be a beaver or not to be a beaver

I was sat there watching, he was so small in a large room full of screaming boys, he was happy, excited. I relaxed a little, the giggles of these boys dressed in blue running around, excitable, it was nice to see him join in in an unknown place. A few minutes later they were gathered into a circle, confusion flushed over his face, he followed suit eyes darting all over the room. It all went a little blurry from there, some introductions to the new boys, some chanting, a whistle blowing, loud shouting 'BEAVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' and then it happened, the tears, the meltdown. 

Me and the Bobs 

I sometimes forget Bobs is on the spectrum, well kind of anyway, you kind of relax into doing what you do for them naturally, you get used to the constant questions, the mood swings, the confusion and repeating, it just becomes our crazy kind of normal. I looked into beavers for Bobs a few weeks ago, I spoke to the leader and explained about his ASD (as much as I could anyways, it's not easy to explain), he was understanding and asked if I would stay with him for the first few times, I was relieved that I wasn't expected to leave him, my apron strings were twitching away, I have only ever left him at 2 parties and both knew all about Bobs and his quirks (let's go with quirks, I prefer that than to keep going on about ASD). 

Once settled Bobs just sat by me with his head on me asking to leave, I stayed, I wasn't being mean I just knew that leaving would only make him sad later. The wonderful Beaver leader came to have some jokes with him, he asked if he would like a biscuit and if he thinks he can sneak him over a biscuit without the others seeing, this had him laughing away, he hid the biscuit so the others couldn't see and listened to Black Beaver tell him about what happens at Beavers.  Five minutes passed and his shoulders started to relax and soon they were all called for a biscuit and drink, Bobs was desperate for a drink, I sat there and nodded towards the line of boys waiting for a drink then looked away and let him decide for himself. He toddled over for a drink, he looked over to me probably twice a minute and every so often gave me a thumbs up, I didn't look at him long enough to speak to me, this would lead to him coming back to me. Soon they were gathered into their lines,  I watched as he rolled himself all over the floors and chattered to himself in his own world, no idea of what he is being told, fully engrossed in his own wondering mind. Soon enough he was asking to come back to me, I encouraged him to stay a few times, but it wasn't long before I was by his side, I wanted to go to him so he would keep in the activities rather than him sat with me on the sidelines. I purposely lost the game after a few minutes so he could carry on without me, he would do this because he won't break the rules, that's a no no!! 

One of our many wonderful days out

All in all we ended on a good note, I was gracious of the kind words from the leaders, and their understanding, I was happy to hear that Bobs wanted to come back again next week, we walked out happy, Bobs was batman and all was right in his world. I still felt that dull ache that lingers, the ache that reminds you that you can't change it for him, that this is his normal, our normal. My lovely Dan sat with me in the car when we got home, he was trying his best to find the right words to comfort me, I was trying so hard to explain that I don't want to change him and it's no trouble it just makes me sad sometimes. 

💞 My Bobs 💞

Just Us!!

So I thought I best start by introducing my beauties and me, But before I do, here they are 💞

This is my gorgeous boy nicknamed 'Bobs', he is 7 years old

My beautiful princess nicknamed 'Pops' is just 15 months

My wonderful step son nicknamed 'Toes' is our middle man at 4 years old

My handsome and me - Dan and Jamie

We live on the outskirts of Sunny Blackpool and soon to be moving a just a couple of miles away (packing with 3 children is no fun), finally we are getting out of our 2 up 2 down, how we have managed to keep 3 mini humans, a dog and a cat alive and not kill each other we will never know. 

So the last few years have been a struggle, we don't complain (much) we have just tried to muddle through, with a tiny house, the journey and battle of Bobs finally being recognised as having Autism Spectrum Disorder, the ups and downs of step parenting, building relationships, losing friendships, saving our relationship, leaving jobs, losing jobs, building a business, pregnancy and new life, deaths and illness.  It's safe to say it hasn't been  easy but we are slowly on the up, I am now running my own Gardening business alongside my amazing Auntie, Dan is home for the summer which will be more enjoyable for him once we move, the children are as wonderfully crazy as usual, there are problems as with any family, but we are strong and we stick together. 

We love our adventures, I love photography and sharing the pictures of our explorations. I'm a happy go lucky kind of girl, I give chances, I see the best , but I'm far from perfect, I often have an opinion to shove in people's faces, I honestly don't mean any offence, I just say it as I see it. Sometimes I have to keep quiet to keep the peace, then I may throw out some cryptic post just to get it off my chest, often regretted later but we live and learn, I guess you could say I'm pretty normal, nothing special, just a mummy muddling through. 

As for relationships, well ours is far from perfect I won't pretend, we argue and bicker like most of you out there, but the love is always there, we laugh like there is no tomorrow and there is never a dull moment. We know each other well and love sneaking off for a few hours to a random town, Dan finds vape stores and I find a TKMAXX OR Home Sense to feed our addictions. Then we love our days out with the Mini Me's, we are always looking for somewhere new, in fact we found a secret place by a river for our next endeavour. 

So this is us!

Just US!